Who gets what

What is a letter of wishes?

By the Sortwell team · Updated 9 November 2026 · 4 min read

A partly opened handwritten letter on a writing desk beside a fountain pen and a small pile of keepsakes.

Short answer: A letter of wishes is a private note kept with your will that tells your executors what you'd like to happen. It isn't legally binding, it doesn't need witnesses, and you can change it whenever you like. People use it to say who should have particular belongings, to explain their decisions, and to set out funeral wishes. It must not contradict your will.

On this page

How it differs from a will
What to include
Things to leave out
How to write one
A template you can adapt
Keeping it safe and up to date
If you're dealing with an estate and find one
Common questions

Family arguments over belongings often start because nobody knows what the person wanted. A letter of wishes takes a little time to write, and it can spare your family a great deal of guessing.

How it differs from a will

	Will	Letter of wishes
Legally binding	Yes	No
Needs witnesses	Yes	No
Becomes public	Yes, once a grant is issued	No, it stays private
Easy to change	Needs a new will or a codicil	Rewrite it any time
Good for	Who inherits your estate	Guidance, reasons and personal detail

Because a will becomes a public document when a grant is issued, a letter of wishes is the better place for anything personal. Executors should take it seriously, but they aren't bound by it, so anything that must happen belongs in the will.

What to include

You can cover whatever would help the people dealing with your estate. Common subjects are:

Who should have the clock, the rings, the recipe books and the tools. This is usually the most useful part for families.
Your reasons. If you've left unequal shares, a kind explanation can stop years of hurt.
Your funeral wishes, such as burial or cremation, music, readings and who should be told.
Practical information, like where your papers are, who your accountant is and which accounts exist. Don't include passwords.
Who you'd like to look after any pets.
If you've named guardians, what matters to you about how your children are raised.
If your will sets up a trust, how you'd like the trustees to use their discretion.

It's particularly important to write one when your executors or trustees have choices to make, because knowing what you'd have wanted makes those decisions easier.

Things to leave out

Anything that conflicts with your will, because the will takes priority.
Gifts that must be legally guaranteed. Put those in the will.
Passwords and PINs, because the letter may be read by several people.
Anything you'd regret someone reading. Be as kind as you can, since this may be the last thing they hear from you.

How to write one

A letter of wishes doesn't need legal language. As The Gazette's guidance puts it, your own words are perfect. Write in plain English, then sign and date it.

Use phrases such as "I would like" or "I would be grateful if", so that it's clear these are requests. If you want to be sure it doesn't clash with your will, ask the solicitor who drew up the will to read it.

Be specific about objects. "My mother's silver teapot, the one on the dresser" is much more useful than "the silver". If you can, add a photograph. If you're giving away something with hallmarks or a maker's name, describe them, so nobody has to guess which piece you mean.

A template you can adapt

Letter of wishes of [your full name]

To my executors. This letter is to be read with my will dated [date]. It sets out my wishes and isn't intended to be legally binding.

My belongings. I would like my mother's silver teapot to go to [name], who always made the tea. I would like [name] to have my father's watch. Please let my grandchildren choose something to remember me by.

Why I made these decisions. I have left [explanation], because [reason]. I love you all equally.

My funeral. I would prefer [burial or cremation]. I would like [music or reading]. Please tell [names].

Where to find things. My papers are in [location]. My accountant is [name].

Signed [your signature]. Dated [date].

Keeping it safe and up to date

Keep the letter with your will, and tell your executors where both are. If your solicitor holds the will, ask them to hold the letter too.

Review it every two years or so, and after any major change such as a death in the family, a birth, a divorce or a house move. When you update it, date the new one and destroy the old one so there's no confusion.

If you're dealing with an estate and find one

Read it alongside the will. If the will gives your executors discretion, or if it leaves personal chattels to be shared as they see fit, the letter is usually where you'll find the answer.

If what it says conflicts with the will, the will wins. When the letter asks for something the will doesn't provide, the people who inherit can still agree to honour it. Our guides to dividing belongings and what an executor does can help you decide how.

Common questions

Is a letter of wishes legally binding?

No. A letter of wishes gives guidance to your executors and trustees but doesn't have legal force. Anything you need to happen should be in your will.

Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed?

No. It should be signed and dated, but it doesn't need witnesses and doesn't have to be drawn up formally.

Can I write a letter of wishes without a solicitor?

Yes. You can write it in your own words. A solicitor can check it doesn't conflict with your will, and that's worth doing if your affairs are complicated.

Where should I keep my letter of wishes?

Keep it with your will, and tell your executors where to find them. The letter stays private, whereas the will becomes a public document once a grant is issued.

Sources

This guide is general information for people in England and Wales. The rules in Scotland and Northern Ireland can differ. It isn't legal, tax or financial advice, and Sortwell isn't a law firm or a valuer. If an estate is complicated or there's a disagreement, talk to a solicitor. Figures were checked on the date above.